How…? I showed my (former) stylist 5 photos of the same hairstyle. I told her in French, her native language, that I was growing my hair out and I wanted just the ends cut off and a very slight layer to make it sit right (not hang like a shower curtain). I hadn’t come in for 7 months to grow out my previous bad chin-length haircut. She began cutting in the back, out of my sight, so by the time I saw she was cutting off 3 months’ of growth it was too late. Half of my growing out time… all destroyed in ten minutes.
It’s a mix between a Florence Brady and a mullet. It’s awful. Very un-feminine. My best friend told me I look older.
She cut deep layers, so deep that when she blow-died my formerly shoulder-length hair it makes a bowl shape around my head. It has absolutely ZERO to do with the photos of the style I wanted, except the wisps of hair she left long in the back (that’s the mullet) that have to be repeatedly styled every two hours all day to keep their upward flip. It’s right in the middle of a wave on one side. It looks straggly. Above the straggles is an above-chin-length fishbowl. I feel so ugly with it. It’s depressing to go into a salon and walk out feeling less pretty than before–after a professional blow-dry and styling have shown me the best of the cut.
Day 1: 7 bobby pins to hold in the fishbowl to the sides of my head, but even they couldn’t redeem the look. The stylist hacked it too short to do a ponytail, butterfly clip, or a French upsweep anymore. I looked so much better and had so many more options before she hacked it. 5 photos! Sheesh.
Day 2: hair gel–haven’t used any in years–couldn’t tame the fishbowl either. Coconut oil on the frizzy mullet flip that cooperates on one side only partially redeemed the look for an hour or so. I have to brush and re-style it every 2 hours.
So yeah, in my former life without children I could blow it dry and bear it. But my daughter is teething and wakes up hourly. My eyes are red when I wake up, and I go to bed before 9. This morning I chose to forego breakfast to spend twenty more minutes asleep. I’m a nursing mother and bike commuter so not eating is major. Did I mention that my daughter is terrified of the blow dryer’s noise? So should I have the rest to wake up with the extra styling time I now need to try to make the best of things, she will awaken and howl instantly. Did I mention that my stylist personally knows my baby, and is 100% aware that I’m the mother of a young baby? Like I need a high-maintenance haircut?
I feel ugly. Time to make lemons out of lemonade. Firstly, I can’t trust that stylist with scissors again so I will certainly not go back to ask her to fix anything. She will just worsen the damage by shortening it.
It’s time for major HAIR ACCESSORY shopping, and buy some interesting earrings and focus on pulling the poofy sides close to my head. I wish I were sewing. I’ve always wanted to make a sixties-style winter dress with a matching kerchief and wear the ensemble with boots. Even a skirt with a matching kercheif would be cute. Unfortunately, my crèche just got a case of chicken pox among the 13 babies that go there, so I don’t want to put her in extra for sewing time only to have a sick baby–for Christmas, which could potentially cancel our travel plans. Life… it will get better.